


The First Noel

by Love (crazylove)



Series: Whatever It Takes [9]
Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-24
Updated: 2010-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 02:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/144245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazylove/pseuds/Love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anoop and Matt work hard to make their first Christmas with their son a Christmas to remember.</p><p> </p><p>Song: Home by Michael Buble</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Noel

“So, Bee, what do you want for Christmas?” Matt asked, holding Bailey’s hand as they walked through a toy store. Anoop followed, adjusting his sunglasses. Nobody was really paying attention to them. The mall was absolutely packed. Anoop just wanted to get out of there.

Bailey shrugged. He looked uninterested in the rows and shelves of expensive toys. Almost everything these days were electronic. It was hard to find a simple basketball. Even the stuffed animals had chips in them that warmed up when a kid hugged them or something. Anoop longed for the day of Connect Four and Pick Up Sticks. Matt was into the smart toys though and he had already bought several with Bailey’s input. They really didn’t know what he wanted but mostly he played with his stuffed animals and liked to read books. Anoop knew he missed swimming but it was too chilly to use their outdoor pool.

“Look at this!” Matt said, pointing some green box with a large picture of kids on it looking happy as they stared down at some glowing device. “This thingy reads to you and you get to see the pictures move. Isn’t that cool? Would you like that?”

Anoop watched Bailey too but he didn’t seem too impressed.

“It makes all sorts of sounds,” Matt said. “I think it’s pretty neat. Maybe Santa will get you that. You never know what Santa is going to bring but I bet if you ask for something he’ll give it to you because you’ve been very good this year!”

Bailey looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he leaned against Matt and looked up at him. Matt picked him up and sighed a little.

“Let’s get out of here,” Anoop said. A couple of people were starting to notice now and Bailey looked tired.

“We’re going to see Santa!” Matt said. “Come on, he’s outside. You wanna see him, Bee?” Matt kissed Bailey’s cheek. Bailey locked his arms around his neck and rested his head against him. Anoop didn’t miss Matt’s worried glance. He’d been seeing it a lot lately. As they got closer to Christmas Bailey was quieter, more withdrawn and a lot more clingy. Anoop didn’t know what was going on. He was worried himself but he tried not to show it because Matt was obviously worried enough for the both of them.

“Do you want to see Santa?” Anoop asked Bailey as they walked out of the store into the mall crowd. His phone buzzed against his thigh, locked in a case hooked on his belt, but he didn’t answer it. Bailey shook his head.

“Maybe we should just go home,” Anoop said to Matt.

“No,” Matt said. “He’ll just... he’ll be more excited when he sees it. Have you seen the Santa display here? It’s insane. We might not get another chance to do this before Christmas. He has to get his picture taken.”

Anoop opened his mouth to argue but then he thought better of it. Instead he put his hand on the small of Matt’s back and guided them through the crowd, pulsing in every direction.

“How do you think Santa flies around the world in one night?” Matt asked. “It’s magic! He visits all the children in the world and goes down their chimney. You know what we can do? We can leave out some cookies for him! Santa really likes that? Why do you think he has such a big tummy?”

Matt poked Bailey’s side with a grin but Bailey didn’t smile back. Anoop wanted to hug them both-- Matt for trying so hard and Bailey for looking so sad. He wished he knew what was wrong because they he could fix this for both of them.

“We’re almost there,” Matt said, adjusting Bailey in his arms. “Look at the line, Bee. Look at all the lights.”

It was quite an impressive sight with Christmas Trees and fake snow and elves and twinkiling lights everywhere in order to recreate the North Pole. Santa sat on an elegant crimson and chrome throne surrounded by poinsettias and lilies and everything else that made Christmas such a pretty holiday. Anoop had to admit that it was pretty outstanding. Bailey turned away and pressed his face into Matt’s shoulder.

“I don’t like Santa!” he declared.

“What?” Matt said. “How can you... he’s going to bring you presents, Bailey. And he’s so nice. You like Santa. Why don’t you meet him? You’ll like him.”

“No!” Bailey shouted and for a moment Anoop was scared that this would turn into a full-fledged tantrum based on how Bailey tensed his entire body.

“Come on,” Anoop said. “Let’s just go. We’ll do Santa somewhere else.”

“This is the perfect place!” Matt snapped. Anoop wondered if Matt was going to have a tantrum too. He knew this wasn’t how Matt pictured their first Christmas with Bailey.

“We can come back,” Anoop said. He put his hand on Matt’s arm and gave him a look. Bailey was squirming in his arms. After a moment Matt put Bailey down. He started running off in the other direction.

“Hey!” Anoop said. “Bailey, stop right now.”

Bailey stopped and stomped his foot. He was obviously in a winning mood. Matt sulked, walking behind him. Anoop just wanted to sigh. Instead he quickly caught up with Bailey and took his hand.

“Don’t run off like that,” Anoop said, firmly. Bailey scowled. He tried to pull his hand away but Anoop just held onto him tightly and marched him out the main entrance.

“I can’t believe he doesn’t want to see Santa,” Matt said. Anoop waited for him to fish through his pockets for the keys. Bailey was still struggling in his grip.

“Don’t worry about it, Matt,” Anoop said in a low voice.

“What kid doesn’t--” Matt finally came up with the keys. A couple of girls were closing into him. Anoop recognized the look in their eyes and they had the camera ready. He could tell Matt noticed too because he clenched his jaw. Anoop rubbed his back and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“I’ll put Bailey in the car,” Anoop said. “Go say hi.”

Matt didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he blinked and took a deep breath. He turned to Anoop and smiled. Anoop knew it was fake but he didn’t think anyone else would know that.

“Okay,” Matt said.

Anoop opened the back door of their SUV just as Matt greeted his fans. When he glanced back the girls looked absolutely thrilled as they began to take pictures. Matt was talking and laughing. Anoop patted the car seat. Bailey was staring at Matt.

“Come on, buddy,” Anoop said, softly. “Get in the car.”

Bailey looked at Anoop and then climbed into the car. Anoop pressed his lips together taking in Bailey’s sullen face.

“Are you going to smile for me, baby?” Anoop asked. He kissed Bailey’s cheek as he strapped him into the car seat. “Hmmm? What can I do to make you smile?”

Anoop reached over Bailey and retrieved his stuffed elephant from the other side of the backseat. He made the elephant kiss Bailey’s face and then handed it to Bailey so he could give his elephant a hug. Sometimes Anoop couldn’t help it. He just had to look at Bailey, take him all in. He was growing up so fast. They had Bailey in their lives for almost a year now and he was already so different. His eyelashes were so long and his light brown curls probably needed to be tamed but the wildness was cute on a four year old. Anoop had a stupid secret fantasy that Bailey was somehow Matt’s biological kid and that’s why they had such an easy bond. The idea made Anoop happy. He thought Matt deserved to really have a kid who came from him, who looked like him and acted like him because he knew that was the type of family that Matt had always imagined for himself. It killed Anoop that he couldn’t do that for Matt and was the main reason why he hoped they might skip the whole talk about having a family. Still, the talk happened and now Bailey was the center of their lives. Anoop wouldn’t change anything about it but there were still those thoughts in the back of his mind. It made him feel so guilty. It was like Bailey wasn’t good enough and that wasn’t the case at all.

“I don’t like Santa,” Bailey said, breaking the silence. Anoop felt a chill as the wind kicked up. He climbed in the backseat and closed the door beside him. It was funny sitting in the backseat of his own car. Anoop patted Bailey’s leg.

“Why not, baby?” he asked.

“Santa doesn’t like me,” Bailey said, quietly.

“Oh baby,” Anoop said. “Of course he does. Santa loves you.”

Bailey looked unconvinced. He looked back out the window and pointed at Matt, still chatting it up with his fans. “Daddy,” he said.

“Yeah,” Anoop said. “Bailey, you know that Daddy’s job is to sing and make people happy, right?” He paused for a moment. Bailey hugged his elephant even tighter. “Well, he cares about making you happy most of all. You’re the most important person in his life. And my life too, Bailey. We love you so much. We just want you to be happy and have the best Christmas ever, baby. Don’t be sad.” He kissed Bailey’s forehead, wondering if he should be saying that stuff to him at all. Anoop always felt frustrated because he was never sure how much Bailey understood about his own life but he was four so Anoop knew he shouldn’t try to give him too much. Anoop opened his mouth to say something else but stopped when Matt opened the back door. He smiled at both of them.

“There you are, Bee!” Matt said. “I thought I lost you. Those girls were very nice. They said you were the cutest little boy in the whole wide world!” Matt tickled Bailey’s side and Bailey finally grinned.

“Daddy, I missed you,” Bailey said as Matt kissed him all over his face.

“I missed you,” Matt said. “Every single second I’m away from you I miss you so much, baby. I don’t like being away from you!”

Bailey hugged Matt even more tightly than he’d been hugging his elephant. Anoop slipped out of the car on the other side.

Now he knew what Bailey really wanted for Christmas.

* 

Anoop yawned, stretching his legs out on the bed as he adjusted the laptop in his lap. They were throwing the annual holiday party the next day and Anoop wanted to double check that all the Christmas bonuses were right.

He looked up when he heard Matt thumping his way up the steps. Bailey went to sleep a couple of hours ago so Anoop hoped that Matt wouldn’t wake him up with all this noise.

“Look at this!” Matt said, appearing in the doorway. He was dragging a huge box. Anoop didn’t attempt to get up to help him. Matt looked breathless but triumphant as he finally got the box all the way inside.

“I found it online,” Matt said. He opened the box and pulled out a huge stuffed tiger that was the size of width of about three body pillows.

“Bailey can sleep on it. He can cuddle with it. He can ride it. Noop, it’s so soft. You gotta feel this. What do you think? It’s perfect for Bailey, right? Do you think he’ll like it? I don’t know. He doesn’t say what he wants. He must want something for Christmas, right? Or do you think it’s too much? You think it’s too much, Noop. But it's not! Imagine Bailey playing with a huge tiger in his room. It’s like a little kid couch. Noop, say something!”

Anoop smiled because Matt looked so stressed out.

“Come here,” he said. Matt sighed and crawled on the bed. Anoop closed his laptop and set it on the night stand. He wrapped his arms around Matt as he settled against his chest.

“I thought I loved Christmas,” Matt said, voice muffled by Anoop’s shirt. Anoop stroked his hair, thinking about how it reminded him of Bailey. “But I didn’t love it until this year, Noop. It’s different when you have a baby, right? I just want it to be so good for him. Right? We didn’t even get to have him last Christmas. He was all alone. We had the papers and we said we were going to adopt him and we were ready but they just wouldn’t _give_ him to us for _Christmas_...”

“Shhhh...” Anoop said. Last Christmas hadn’t been good at all.

“What if he was somewhere bad? What if he didn’t get any presents? Maybe that’s why Christmas is making him so upset? We don’t know what happened to him. We never know what happened. It’s so unfair that we don’t get to know so much about our baby.”

“I know,” Anoop said. “Bailey will love anything you get him, Matt.”

“Do you really think that’s true?” Matt said. “I don’t know, Noop. I want it to be... wonderful. I want his Christmas to be _perfect_! That’s all I want, Anoop. Don’t get me anything. Let’s just... give Bailey the best Christmas.”

“Of course we will,” Anoop said. He wrapped his arms around tighter around Matt as he snuggled closer.

“Maybe we should send Bailey to preschool. Noop, do you think about that? If he went to preschool they would be talking to Santa and Bailey would be more excited about that. He could be talking about presents with his friends and I bet he would know exactly what he wanted! You ever think about that, Noop? Maybe we’re making a mistake here, keeping him out of school. They’d be making Christmas ornaments and reading stories...”

“We can make Christmas ornaments with Bailey, Matt. We can read him stories.” Anoop pressed a kiss to Matt’s temple. “Did you forget what Christmas is really about?”

“He doesn’t have a game system,” Matt said. “What about that? Like the new Nintendo...?”

“It’s about Jesus,” Anoop said a little louder. “His birthday? Supposedly. And just being together. Matt, it’s about family. It’s not about presents!”

Matt bit his lip and looked a little sheepish.

“I know, Noop, but--”

“Bailey wants you,” Anoop said. “He just wants you, Matt. You. You!”

“And you too,” Matt said.

“He wants to play with you and hug you and talk to you and just be with you, Matt. That’s all. Do you see the way Bailey looks at you? You’re his whole world.”

“You too,” Matt insisted, sitting up. Anoop scooted back and rested against the pillows and the headboard.

“I’m just saying don’t worry so much about it,” Anoop said. He looked down at the bedspread. There were a few pulled strands. Maybe he’d get them a new bed set for Christmas.

“He’s just such a beautiful little boy,” Matt said. Anoop looked over at him. Matt took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Isn’t he, Anoop? I can’t get enough of him. Every time I’m away from him just... hurts me! That’s why I don’t think I can do that tour, Noop. I’ve been thinking--”

“Hey,” Anoop said. “Let’s not talk about this right now.” He smiled and tried not to notice the hurt look that flashed in Matt’s eyes.

“But yes,” Anoop said. “Bailey is the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen.”

They didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Anoop could hear the house settling around them, soft sounds that were normal now but seemed a little unsettling for the first few nights they were in this big house. The wind rattled against the window frame. It always seemed to be windier at night. They still kept a baby monitor in Bailey’s room. He was silent, fast asleep. Anoop wondered what he dreamed about.

“Ready for the party?” Matt finally said. Anoop wished he could say that he hadn’t been thinking about that but the party had been in the back of his mind ever since they decided they were going to do it. He and Matt had planned it as a holiday-get-together on the Saturday before Christmas which also happened to be Anoop’s birthday. It was the first real party they were planning at the house and even though it was catered and everything was taken care of Anoop was still a little worried about how it was all going to work out.

“Yeah,” Anoop said. “Everything should be good.”

“You’re always better at parties than me,” Matt said.

“Yeah, right,” Anoop said. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re better at talking to people!” Matt said. “And like... schmoozing and boozing it up. I always feel shy.”

Anoop closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. He cupped Matt’s chin in his hand and kissed him gently. “You’re not shy. Besides, it’s a party with our friends. It’s not one of _those_ parties.”

“Yeah, but I’m just saying you’re better than me. You’re better than me at a lot of things,” Matt said. He still looked a little sad so Anoop kissed him again and then again until Matt blinked a few times.

“That’s not true,” Anoop said. He kissed Matt’s forehead and then moved so he was laying on top of him. “I think you’re better at sucking my cock.”

“Better than sucking your cock then you are?” Matt said, with a grin. “Probably.”

“Maybe you should prove it,” Anoop said.

“You just can’t declare me the best and then tell me to prove it!” Matt said. “That’s not how it works, Noop.”

“Okay, I’ll go first,” Anoop said. He sat up, settling himself on Matt’s legs and undid his fly. “Then you try to one up me.”

He pushed up Matt’s shirt and kissed his way down his chest and stomach to the waistband of his underwear. Matt giggled the whole time, his stomach contracting in and out. Anoop could listen to him laugh all day so he took his time as he went down on him.

* 

Anoop picked out a nice Christmas sweater for Bailey to wear to the party. It was red with little white reindeer trees along the bottom. He paired it with black slacks and shiny black shoes.

“Wow, look at you!” Matt said, when Anoop followed Bailey down the stairs to the kitchen where Matt was putting beer and wine into their cooler. “It’s the most handsome boy in the world! Bailey looks good! Model for me, Bee!”

Bailey posed in the middle of the kitchen and twirled around. Anoop laughed along with Matt.

“How about it,” Matt said. “Nobody is going to be able to take their eyes off of you at this party.”

Bailey giggled and went to give Matt a hug. Matt lifted him up and held him with one arm as he put the rest of the beer in the case. Bailey rested his head on Matt’s shoulder.

“Say cheese,” Anoop said. He pulled out the camera from his back pocket. Bailey was quite good at smiling on cue. He wrapped his arms around Matt’s neck and grinned. Matt pretended to chug one of the beers. Then he whispered something in Bailey’s ear.

“Happy birthday, Daddy!” Bailey squealed.

“Happy birthday, Daddy,” Matt echoed in a high pitched voice. He put Bailey down and they both started singing the birthday song. Bailey danced around as they sang. Anoop couldn’t stop laughing. When they were done Bailey wrapped his arms around Anoop’s knees and looked up at him.

“Happy birthday, Daddy,” he said. “I love you. You are the best Daddy. How old are you, Daddy?”

“Thanks, baby,” Anoop said. He leaned down and kissed the top of Bailey’s head.

“Daddy’s old. He’s real old!” Matt said.

“Not as old as that one,” Anoop said, pointing his thumb at Matt.

“I was around when the polar ice caps formed!” Matt said. Bailey gave Anoop a weird look.

“What is Daddy talking about?” Bailey asked. Anoop laughed as Matt grabbed him for a quick kiss.

The party wasn’t supposed to start until eight. They had the lights up. Their fresh Christmas tree was watered and green, standing majestically in the corner of the family room, decorated with colorful ornaments and garland that Bailey picked out. Anoop was proud of poinsettias and wreaths they had on the tables and in the windows. The dining room table had been set by the caters and there was a huge spread of hearty hor d’oeuvres and Christmas pastries. They had presents for everyone waiting under the tree. Bailey was excited to help pass them out. Anoop straightened Matt’s Christmas tree tie and smoothed out his red dress shirt as they waited for their first guest.

“You look older,” Matt teased. “Looking straight up old, Noop.”

“I already found that gray hair,” Anoop said. “So I agree with you.”

“Aw, I’m just kidding,” Matt said. He glanced away. Anoop followed his gaze over to Bailey, who was crouched under the tree, examining one of the party gifts.

“He looks so cute,” Matt said. Then he sighed. “I just wish he were more excited about his own Christmas.”

Anoop smiled sympathetically. Despite all the stories Matt read and the videos that he and Bailey watched together Bailey still didn’t seem interested in Santa or presents for himself and whenever Matt brought up visiting the mall again Bailey would just scowl. Anoop wasn’t as concerned but he knew that it was breaking Matt’s heart a little bit.

“He’s going to have a good day no matter what,” Anoop said, rubbing the back of Matt’s neck. Matt turned to Anoop and kissed him again. Then he hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear, “Birthday sex.”

“Shhhh,” Anoop said, almost blushing but that was only because he was excited about later that evening. “Our guests are arriving any moment.”

The doorbell rang then, as if on cue. Matt pulled away from him with a little laugh.

“I’ll get the door,” he said.

Bailey skipped over to Anoop and looked up at him. “Time to say ‘Merry Christmas’,” he said.

“That’s right, buddy,” Anoop said. When Matt didn’t come back right away he headed to the door to see who it was. His eyes widened when he saw it was Megan and then they got even wider when he saw what she had on.

“Ho ho fucking ho, Anoop!” Megan said. “Happy birthday! It’s been way too long. Come here!”

Anoop laughed as she wrapped him in a bone crunching hug. He actually heard the bones in his back crack.

“You’re crushing me,” he said. He was nearly lifted off his feet.

“What do you think?” Megan said, once she let him go. “I heard about your Santa problem. I thought I’d give it a go.”

Anoop shook his head, taking her all in. “It’s something,” he said.

Megan was dressed in a Santa suit, red and white from head to toe, complete with the big black boots but minus the fat stomach. She pulled up her fake beard and pushed the Santa hat down on her forehead.

“I’m ready to see the little stinker,” Megan said. “I haven’t seen Bailey in so long. Not since his birthday party!”

“That was only a couple of months ago,” Anoop said. He couldn’t stop laughing. Megan looked the farthest away from the real Santa but at the same time he had a good feeling about this.

“Like I said,” Megan said. She grabbed Matt’s arm and they said it together. “ _So_ long!”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to go a couple of months without seeing Bailey either,” Anoop said.

“She’s Santa,” Matt said. “This is our last chance. We gotta get Bailey to believe in him. The Christmas spirit!”

“Leave it up to me,” Megan said, waving a hand confidently. “I know Santa.”

“Did Matt put you up to this?” Anoop asked.

“Please.” Megan rolled her eyes. “The last time Matt came up with a good idea is when he decided to get with you. That’s it.”

“Hey!” Matt said. “Just last night I put some seasoning salt on the microwave popcorn and Bee really liked it.”

Megan stared at him for a moment. “I stand corrected,” she deadpanned.

“It was Lawry’s,” Matt said. “They still make that. I found it in the store when I was looking for sprinkles.”

“Step aside, boys,” Megan said. She fluffed up her beard and then moved towards the kitchen with big heavy steps.

“Ho, ho, ho!” she said, loudly, in a rougher version of her own voice. “Merry Christmas! I’m here to see about a little boy. Is Bailey here? I’m looking for Bailey Giraud.”

Anoop followed Megan with Matt close to his side. Bailey rushed over from the Christmas tree and stared up at Megan with his mouth open.

“There you are, Bailey!” Megan said. “Santa came to visit you early.”

“Santa?” Bailey asked, in an incredulous voice.

“Well, I’m not the Easter Bunny!” Megan said. Bailey giggled.

“Hi, Santa,” he said, shyly.

“I heard you’ve been a very good boy this year,” Megan said. “But I don’t have a Christmas list from you. How is Santa supposed to know what to bring you this year. Come sit on Santa’s lap so you can tell me.”’

Megan marched into the family to take a seat on the armchair. Bailey looked over at Matt and Anoop with a hesitant look on his face. Anoop smiled encouragingly.

“Go ahead, baby,” Anoop said. “It’s Santa.”

“Santa came to visit you, Bee!” Matt said. “Why don’t you go see him?”

“Right here!” Megan said. She patted her Santa lap. “I’ve got a seat. I want to listen to you.”

Bailey hung back, still staring.

“Look at how Daddy does it,” Megan said. She look Anoop in the eye and beckoned him over. “Come here, Daddy. What do you want for Christmas?”

“No,” Anoop said. He shook his head but Matt pushed him forward.

“It’s for Bailey!” he hissed.

“Oh God,” Anoop mumbled. Bailey watched him as he walked over to Megan and took a careful seat on her lap.

“My my my!” Megan said. “This one is a big boy!”

Bailey laughed. Anoop glared.

“So, Anoop, what do you want for Christmas? Tell Santa. This counts as your birthday present too.”

“Oh thanks,” Anoop said. He rolled his eyes.

“So make it good,” Megan said.

“All I want for Christmas is for my little boy to be happy,” Anoop said. “And a new set of golf clubs.”

“Really?” Matt piped up. “Do you want a monogrammed bag?”

“I think I can handle that,” Megan said. “Santa can handle everything!”

“Santa, I want a convertible!” Matt called. “Noop says I can’t have one.”

“He already has a convertible,” Anoop said. Megan’s lap was pretty comfortable despite the fact that she was still as skinny as ever. “He’s not getting another one.”

“Yeah, but that one is old, Noop. I’ve had it for two years!”

“Anyway!” Megan said, loudly. “That’s how you do it. Now it’s Bailey’s turn.”

Bailey had inched closer during the whole conversation. He came even closer now and put his hand on Anoop’s leg.

“Can I sit, Daddy?” Bailey asked.

“Of course, baby.” Anoop got off Megan’s lap quickly and lifted Bailey up so he could sit on Santa. Megan put her arms around him.

“What a good boy,” she said. “Tell me what you want for Christmas, Bailey.”

Bailey didn’t say anything. Anoop went to put his arm around Matt’s waist and held his breath. He really wanted Bailey to say something.

“Are you scared of Santa?” Megan asked. Bailey shrugged.

“You like me, Santa?” Bailey asked, quietly.

“Oh, I love you, baby! Santa thinks you're the best.” Megan held Bailey tightly and rocked him side to side. Bailey rested against her chest and seemed to relax.

“So what do you want, Bailey?” Megan asked after a few moments. It was a perfect scene, with the Christmas tree glowing not too far away. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of Bailey on Santa's knee. It was the perfect moment.

“Daddy,” Bailey finally said and then he dissolved into tears. He pointed at Matt. “I don’t want Daddy to leave!”

“I’m not going anywhere, Bee!” Matt said. He rushed over to Bailey and picked him up. Bailey was still sobbing when the doorbell rang. After that they had a steady rush of guests. It was hard to slip into the host role but he had to because this was the party they planned. Anoop didn’t see Matt or Megan or Bailey for at least an hour. Finally, Matt tapped him on the shoulder.

“Where’s Bailey?” Anoop asked.

“I just put him to bed,” Matt said. “I guess nobody got to see his little outfit but he was tired.”

“Oh,” Anoop said. He was disappointed, but it was about more than the fact nobody got to see Bailey’s Christmas clothes.

“I’m not doing that tour,” Matt said, leaning into him. Then he went away, mingling with the crowd. Matt was wrong. He was definitely better at parties. He knew how to make people laugh, how to entertain them. They ended up around the piano at the end and singing took Anoop’s mind off of things a little, but not completely.

People started leaving late. Anoop guessed that meant it was a good party. He picked up a few stray wine glasses as Matt said goodbye to a few people at the door. He paused when he felt a hand on his back.

“Anoop,” Megan said. “Hey, birthday boy.” She had changed into regular clothes sometime during the course of the evening. The slim fitting jeans looked really good on her. He had never stopped being attracted to her.

“Not anymore,” Anoop said, glancing at the entertainment center. It was after midnight. Only four days until Christmas now.

“It’s still your birthday on the west coast,” Megan said. She slipped her arm around his waist and pulled him closer. “Cheer up, birthday boy.”

“I don’t know,” Anoop said.

“I know what it’s like,” Megan said. “Worrying about your kid. It’s a full time job. It’s forever.”

Anoop nodded. “Yeah,” he said. He gave her a smile and then pulled her into a hug.

“You look so handsome,” Megan said. “Did I already tell you that? Dignified.”

“Is it the gray?” Anoop said. Megan stared at him and he pointed at his chin. She leaned in closely to examine his beard.

“Oh please,” Megan said. She plucked it out before Anoop could take another breath.

“Ow,” Anoop said, clutching his chin.

“It looked good on you,” Megan said. She kissed his cheek.

“Thanks.” Anoop continued to rub his chin.

“How are you and Matt?” Megan asked. Anoop put the wine glasses down. They weren’t going anywhere.

“Good,” Anoop said. “We’re just fine.”

“Yeah, he’s a star, right?” Megan said. “I know you pushed him to get this far. You really pushed him. He wouldn’t be where he is without you.”

“No,” Anoop said. His heart was beating faster because he was scared that was really true.

“Yes, Anoop! You are the catalyst of everything good in your family. I know that. Don’t be modest. You hold your family together. Don’t forget that. You do.” Megan poked him in his chest. It kind of hurt. “You.”

Anoop rubbed his chest. Megan smiled serenely. Her hair was black now and her eyes were still as beautiful and knowing as ever.

“You guys have the most beautiful Christmas tree,” Megan said. “It smells so good.”

“Bailey picked it out,” Matt said, appearing again. He put his arms around both of them, standing in the middle. “Merry Christmas, guys. Megan, I’m so glad you came.”

“It’s not a party without me, right?” Megan grinned. “I always need a good excuse to visit you guys. What about this guy, huh? He’s the youngest but he’s always got it together. How is that possible?”

“I don’t know,” Matt said. “But that’s why I love him.” Matt took Anoop’s hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

“So Ryder wanted me to give you this,” Megan said, pulling a thumb drive out of her pocket. “It’s a picture slideshow he made set to music. He loves making those videos. What can I say? I actually think it’s the cutest thing ever in life.”

“It is,” Anoop said. He clutched the thumb drive in his closed fist.

“It’s a quick trip,” Megan said. “I’ve got business tomorrow and then I’m going home to make sure Santa makes it to my house. Oh yeah, I had a lot of fun playing Santa for Bailey. He is the cutest thing. It’s obvious you two just light up his world.”

“He lights up my world,” Matt said and it was obviously true from the way Matt was grinning. Anoop thought about how Matt was always sure about Bailey, even from the moment he saw him. Anoop had never been that sure. Even when he signed the adoption papers he still had his doubts. He still felt guilty about that.

“You should have seen Matt talking to Bailey when he was upset,” Megan said. “He’s a superstar dad.”

“I know,” Anoop said. Matt was still beaming.

“I wish Ryder had someone like that,” Megan said. She smiled a little sadly and stepped forward to give Matt a kiss on the lips and then Anoop.

“Time for me to leave, boys,” Megan said. “I love you. Merry Christmas!”

It was weird to be alone with Matt after Megan left. Anoop felt like they hadn’t been alone together in a long time.

“I wrote you a song,” Matt said. “For your birthday.”

“Oh, are you going to use it on your next CD?” Anoop asked as he followed Matt to the piano. Matt gave him a weird look.

“No, Noop,” he said. “I told you, this song is for you.”

“You can still use it,” Anoop said. He watched Matt take a seat behind the piano. He always looked so comfortable there, so natural. Anoop wondered if he looked like that doing anything.

“I love writing for you,” Matt said. “Only you.”

Anoop leaned against the back of the piano first and listened. He thought it was brave the way Matt looked at him when he sang and rocked with the rhythm and let his emotions play across his face just liked he moved his fingers across the keys. Anoop tried to catagorize the song along with the other ones Matt had written him. He seemed to get more deeper each time, closer to what was actually inside Anoop’s head. It thrilled and scared Anoop at the same time to hear him play these songs.

Eventually Anoop sat beside Matt on the bench and rested his head on Matt’s shoulder. Matt ended the song with a piano solo that Anoop didn’t want to end and maybe Matt knew this because he went on and on obviously creating it on the spot. Anoop’s heart wouldn’t stop pounding, even after he was finished. Then they started kissing. Soon they ended up on the floor. They didn’t turn the Christmas lights off that night even though Anoop usually turned them off before they went to bed.

* 

 

The next day Matt had a meeting down in Memphis so he left early, promising to be back that night even though Memphis was a good four hour drive away. Anoop told him to spend the night but Matt insisted. He kissed Anoop goodbye and got on the road. Anoop laid there for a long time after Matt left. They still hadn’t talked about what happened after Bailey started crying on Megan’s lap. Anoop wasn’t quite ready to really have the conversation anyway. Instead, he woke Bailey up and made him pancakes for breakfast.

“I love pancakes!” Bailey said when Anoop put the plate in front of him.

“I know,” Anoop said with a laugh. He tried not to be appalled by the amount of syrup Bailey drowned them in.

“Daddy,” Bailey said with a very sticky fork. Syrup dripped everywhere. “Did you have a good birthday?”

“Yes, it was great,” Anoop said. “Thank you for asking, baby.”

“Four more days until Christmas,” Bailey said.

“That’s right,” Anoop said. “Very good, Bailey.”

“I talked to Santa,” Bailey said. “Did you see, Daddy? I was sitting on Santa.”

“Yes you were,” Anoop said. “Did you like it?”

“I guess so,” Bailey said. Anoop handed Bailey another couple napkins. “I talked about Daddy.”

“Where do you think Daddy’s going, buddy? He’s not going anywhere.”

“He’s going singing,” Bailey said, looking at Anoop with a ‘duh’ look on his face. “He’s going away. All over the world, Daddy.”

Anoop tried to say that wasn’t true but then he remembered there were talks about an international leg. Instead he smiled, even though he felt sort of defeated.

“He always come back,” Anoop said, softly. “It’s just for a little while.”

“I don’t like it,” Bailey said. He finished his pancakes and licked the syrup off his fingers. Anoop got up to take Bailey’s plate and put it in the dishwasher along with his own. He paused to kiss Bailey’s hair.

“I don’t like it either,” Anoop whispered against Bailey’s curls. He hoped he didn’t hear him.

* 

Anoop had his Christmas shopping pretty much wrapped up but he stopped in the music store downtown to look for something that Matt would like. Bailey followed closely, wearing those reindeer ears Matt had gotten him.

“What do you think Daddy would like?” Anoop asked. “What do you want to get him for Christmas?”

“Me?” Bailey said, looking more excited. He looked around carefully. The store sold everything from instruments to sheet music paper. Anoop didn’t actually expect Bailey to pick out a gift. He took his eyes off him for a moment and looked at a tuner. Suddenly, Bailey grabbed his hand.

“I found this!” Bailey said. He held a package with two drumsticks in it, made out of dark wood.

“Where did you get this, baby?” Anoop asked, looking around. He hoped he didn’t disturb anything. Then he looked at the package again.

“How do you know Matt plays the drum?” Anoop said, before thinking about it.

“Daddy drums at his other house,” Bailey said. Anoop just shook his head. He still didn’t know the full details of what happened whenever Matt would keep Bailey for the week in Memphis. As far as he knew Matt didn’t have drums in his apartment down there but he was sure there was more to the story.

“He needs some drumsticks?” Anoop said. “This is a great idea, Bailey.”

“He lost them,” Bailey said, giggling. “They went out the window!”

Anoop nodded. He’d have to investigate this story later.

“Well, that’s a very thoughtful present,” Anoop said. “Good job, baby. I bet Daddy will love it.” He grabbed the tuner and took both items to the counter.

They had a late lunch and Anoop was just fascinated listening to Bailey talk about watching Matt drum or whatever other stories he had. It was amazing how much Bailey observed at four years old, how much he understood. Anoop thought he didn’t give him enough credit for what he really knew. He felt like he hadn’t been listening to him carefully enough. Anoop vowed to do better.

When they got back Matt’s car was in the driveway. At first Anoop was worried because there was no way Matt could have the meeting and make it back home that fast. But Matt was inside waiting for them. Bailey ran over for a big hug.

“They flew me!” Matt said. “I told them I had to be home today and they sent a private jet. How cool is that, Bee? My own plane!”

“Well,” Anoop said. “That’s Sony for you.”

“Was it big?” Bailey asked.

“No,” Matt said, holding Bailey in his arms. “It was a small plane but it was fun! I’ll take you on the plane sometime, okay? You’ll love it.”

Matt had more toys that night. He bought Bailey a polar bear puzzle and a big zoo playset that was complete with animals and cages and a train set that moved through the zoo transporting the little people and animals.

“Bailey will really love that,” Anoop said. The box was pretty big so he and Matt wrapped it together. Anoop was good at making sure the edges of the wrapping paper were tight and neat. Matt knew the right bow to use, the best gift tag. When they were done wrapping a few presents Matt grabbed Anoop’s hand.

“Hey,” he said. “Can we talk?”

“You know we can’t give Bailey all these presents, right?” Anoop said. They still had toys in the closet and in their attic. Anoop couldn’t even remember them all.

“I guess there could be too much,” Matt said. “I guess so.”

“I know you want to give him everything,” Anoop said. He sat on the edge of their bed. “But it doesn’t have to be literal.”

“It’s his first Christmas with us,” Matt said. “His first real Christmas, right? We can get a little literal with spoiling him.”

“He’s going to get exhausted opening all these presents,” Anoop said.

“Is it the worst thing in the world?” Matt said. He sat next to Anoop and kissed the side of his face. Anoop didn’t really want to look at him but after a moment he did.

“I’ve been thinking,” Matt said. “The Sony deal? It was a mistake. You were right, Noop. I never should have left your label. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry about that. I thought I was... I thought I was doing the best thing but it was the worst thing.”

“What are you talking about?” Anoop asked, very seriously. “Matt, your album is like... number three in the country last time I checked. It’s the best music out there.”

Matt had his eyes closed. He shook his head. “I don’t care about that,” Matt said. “I thought I would. I always thought I would, I really did, Anoop. But I don’t. It feels... it means nothing. I’m sorry we fought about this. It wasn’t worth it.”

“We didn’t really fight--” Anoop cut himself off because that wasn’t important. “What are you saying?”

“I want out,” Matt said. “I want to come back.”

Anoop couldn’t help laughing dryly. “You want to go backwards, Matt?”

“It’s not backwards!” Matt said. “I didn’t realize what I had. I have to think about what’s important. I always thought this would end. So I did the album in Memphis, I did the interviews, I did the radio rounds, I did the club promo tour, I did the Christmas shows, I did the TV specials. I thought there was a time when that would end. When I would have a little time. But now there’s the tour and that’s four or five months and then... the next album? With the same things? I just... can’t. I can’t be away anymore. I want to be home. I need to be home. I don’t want to have to deal with business a couple of days before Christmas even with a private jet. This isn’t what I wanted, Noop. I wanted to show people my music but I didn’t want to always be away from my baby! I can’t stand it anymore. He thinks I leave him on purpose! That I stay away because I like it. When we were talking that’s what he said. He said, why are you always leaving, Daddy? I wish you wouldn’t leave. No, Anoop, I can’t do this. I’ll take it all back if that means Bailey wouldn’t have that thought that for one second. We don’t need the money, not that bad. I don’t need the fame. I always made music and I always will but I need my family first. I need you and Bailey, I need to be with you guys. I don’t want to be gone! Do you see what I’m saying?”

Anoop put his hands on Matt’s shoulders because he was getting so emotional while he was talking that he was practically in tears. He gave Matt a squeeze.

“Of course I understand,” Anoop said. “But you can’t just give it up, Matt.”

“It’s not important,” Matt said. “And it’s taking away from the music too when all I can think about is how much I miss Bee.”

Anoop didn’t say anything right away. Matt turned away and wiped his eyes. He rubbed Matt’s back and sighed.

“You can’t give up your record deal,” Anoop finally said, speaking quietly. “Not like this. Not now. You’re doing... it’s incredible what you’re doing right now. The kind of music you make can’t be matched. It shouldn’t be stopped. And Sony is the one who can do the best things for you. They have the kind of promotion and productions team you need. They’re the ones who pushed you to this level. It’s what you deserve. I know I was angry at first but this was the right decision, Matt. You can’t leave.”

“I’m not happy,” Matt whispered. His voice broke and he closed his eyes. Anoop pulled him into a tight hug and held him for a long time.

“Hey,” Anoop finally said. He pulled away just enough to kiss Matt’s forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Matt said. Anoop got him a couple of tissues.

“How long have you been feeling this way?” Anoop asked as Matt wiped his face.

Matt shrugged. “It just really hit me last night when Bailey was crying.”

“Was that what this meeting was about?” Anoop asked, heart seizing suddenly. “You didn’t... do anything rash, did you?”

“No, we had that meeting, Noop. It was about the tour. But it made me realize I can’t go through with it. I should have said something then but... I was scared. I need to talk to you first.” Matt sighed and crumpled the tissues in his hand.

“I’ve been thinking about this too,” Anoop said, carefully. He took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to lose this, Matt. I’ve been thinking about this before you even said anything. You need to go on tour. I won’t let you not do that tour, Matt. You’ll regret it. I know you will.”

“I _won’t_ \--” Matt said, but Anoop held up his hand.

“Listen,” he said. “You need to take Bailey. Take Bailey on tour with you. He needs you. He needs to be with you. And you need him. I’ll be there as much as I can. But this time I’m going to be the one that does the back and forth. Bailey will be with you all the time.”

“No, Anoop,” Matt said. “I want both of you.”

“It’ll be good for Bailey,” Anoop said. “We already know he’s good at traveling. You can show him a lot of things. What matters is that he knows we’re there for him and this is part of it, Matt. His life isn’t going to be normal. Our lives aren’t normal. We can’t change that. We shouldn’t. Making music is part of who you are. That can’t stop. We have to adapt, Matt. Don’t give this up. We’ll do our best with it. We’re doing this for Bailey. Take Bailey with you. We’ll teach him that home isn’t necessarily where your house is. It’s where your heart is. Matt, your heart is with me and Bailey but it’s also with your music. You shouldn’t separate those.”

“It’s just not as important to me anymore,” Matt said. He closed his eyes and a couple of tears rolled down his cheeks.

“You’ve worked hard for this your whole life,” Anoop said. “You deserve this, Matt. We can make it work. I’ll go to where ever you are every weekend.”

“I just feel like Bailey would be having a better Christmas if I were paying more attention to him! But I’ve been so bogged down by all those shows and stuff for the label... now that I finally have some down time to spend with him he doesn’t even like it!” Matt sniffed, wiping his cheeks and then he laughed, but it was more like a sigh. “I feel like a leaky faucet. I can’t stop crying.”

Anoop rubbed his back. “I think Bailey likes Christmas. He’s just... it’s new for all of us, Matt. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Matt wiped his nose and Anoop got him another tissue.

“There’s still so much we haven’t done together,” Matt said, dabbing at his eyes.

“You took him to that Christmas tree farm,” Anoop said. “You’ve done a lot more than you think.”

“I wanted to like establish traditions,” Matt said. “You know? Like... stuff he can look forward to every year. Now all he knows is that I’m gonna be gone!”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Anoop said, patiently.

“I didn’t have any idea that he like knew about the tour and stuff. I don’t know what I was thinking. That he wouldn’t notice? He listens, Anoop. He knows things.”

“I know,” Anoop said. He put his arm around Matt. “But he’s going to be okay. So will you, Matt. We’re going to work this out. But you have to go. We’re not going to give up now. Matt, this is for all of us. I wanted you to have this kind of success and you’re doing it because you love it and to provide a good future for Bailey. RIght?”

They didn’t say anything for a while. Matt rested his head on Anoop’s shoulder.

“It hurts to be without you guys,” Matt said.

“We’re together right now,” Anoop said. “Focus on that.”

Matt took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He lifted his head and looked at Anoop with a small smile.

“So you think I should take Bee, huh?”

“He can soundcheck for you,” Anoop said. Matt snickered.

“We don’t have to decide everything right now,” Matt said. “It was just really good to talk to you. I guess that’s why I married you.”

“I guess so,” Anoop said with a smile. Then he looked into Matt’s green eyes seriously.

“We’re going to do whatever it takes to make you happy,” Anoop said. “Okay?” He took Matt’s left hand and held it in both of his until Matt’s eyes weren’t red anymore and they decided to go to bed.

* 

They put some of Bailey’s gifts under the Christmas tree before Christmas Eve. Bailey seemed more interested in them now. He crawled around and found the ones that said his name. Anoop grabbed everyone’s coats.

“What is this?” he said, holding up a small box.

“You’re going to have to wait until tomorrow to find out,” Matt said from the couch, putting on his shoes. “What do you think it is?”

“A box!” Bailey said, triumphantly.

“But something is in the box,” Matt said. “It could be anything.”

“A baby chicken?” Bailey guessed.

“Well, the baby chicken needs air. Baby chickens don’t go in a box, silly,” Matt said.

“A baby chicken in an egg,” Bailey clarified.

“Well,” Matt said. He glanced at Anoop with a grin. “Guess we’ll have to find out tomorrow.”

“Come put your coat on,” Anoop said. They were going to Christmas Eve service at a church not too far away. Bailey wore his Christmas sweater again so people could see it this time. They didn’t go to church as a family very often--although Matt did something every week--but Anoop thought it was a good idea when Matt suggested it.

The church was large and crowded. They sat on the end of a row in the middle, Bailey in the seat between them. He looked around at everyone coming in and taking their seats.

“Are you gonna sit still, Bee?” Matt asked as Bailey was twisting around and bobbing up and down in order to see everything.

“Are all these people coming for Christmas?” Bailey asked, looking at both of them.

“Yep,” Matt said. “Sit down on your bottom, Bailey.”

“Does Santa bring them presents, too?”

“Yep,” Anoop said. “If they’re good and they sit like they’re supposed to.”

Bailey turned and sat on his butt. “I’m good,” he said.

“Yes you are. “ Anoop kissed the top of his head.

The service started with some singing. The church had a beautiful choir and the band was really jamming. Anoop thought about starting a gospel division in his label or some kind of Christian music, especially since they were in Nashville. Maybe he could start here.

The pastor was an energetic man. He started from the beginning, telling the whole story about Jesus’ birth and interjecting why this was important to their modern day lives. A few kids came up and did a little pageant, acting out the important moments. The choir and the band sang again, mostly Christmas songs this time. Matt sang along but Anoop just listened. Bailey was bouncy when they sang Joy to the World.

“My favorite!” Bailey said. Anoop exchanged a look with Matt. He didn’t know that Bailey had a favorite Christmas song. When they got home he was going to put it on repeat.

“Let’s have all the kids come to the front,” a woman said. “We’re going to do a special program.”

Matt walked Bailey up to the front with the other kids. Then he slid in the seat next to Anoop and took his hand.

“I love you,” Matt whispered in his ear. Anoop smiled.

“I love you more,” he whispered back.

The pastor talked about opening your heart and lives to new people and situations, just like the key players on that faithful night. Anoop kept a firm grip on Matt’s hand and leaned against him. It felt like the pastor was speaking directly to them.

“We have to do this,” Anoop said, speaking quietly into Matt’s ear. “We’ve come too far. We can’t give up now.”

Matt smiled and squeezed his hand.

Bailey came back with a picture and a candy cane.

“I colored it,” he said. “It’s the barn with Jesus! And I got candy.”

Matt pulled Bailey into his lap.

“Perfect day, huh?” Matt said, kissing him.

When they got home they all made cookies for Santa in the kitchen and sang various Christmas songs including Joy to the World multiple times. Matt made the frosting and Bailey got to mix in the food coloring. Anoop frosted cookies and watched Bailey carefully press each individual red or green sprinkle exactly where he wanted it to go.

“When is Santa coming?” Bailey asked.

“He comes in the middle of the night,” Matt said. “When you’re asleep, Bee.”

“What if I’m not asleep?”

“You have to be asleep,” Anoop said. “You’ll be asleep.”

“I’ll stay up all night!” Bailey declared. “Then I can see Santa.”

“You don’t want him to skip you,” Matt said. “You better go to sleep. That cookie looks good, Bee.”

“Thank you,” Bailey said, starting on the next one. Matt grabbed on the gingerbread men shaped cookies and bit the head off.

“Hey!” Bailey said. “Don’t eat them, Daddy. That’s for Santa.”

Matt smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, Bee,” he said. He put the cookie back. “Tell Santa I don’t have a cold.”

Bailey was kind of hyper before bed, like the reality of Christmas was really hitting him.

“When I wake up,” Bailey said. “Santa will come and I will have presents.”

“That’s right,” Matt said. He had been lying on the floor listening as Anoop sat by the bed and read “The Night Before Christmas.” Matt jumped up and gave Bailey a kiss.

“Goodnight, Bee,” he said. “See you in the morning. Christmas morning.”

“Night, baby.” Anoop kissed Bailey’s nose. “I love you.”

“I love you, Daddy,” Bailey said. “Sing my song.”

They all sang Joy to the World one last time. Every time Anoop sang, even for fun, he felt a pang in his chest. He really missed doing his own music but it just wasn’t really possible right now. Bailey couldn’t have both parents on the road and Anoop had to run his label so everyone else could make their music. At least he got to sing for Bailey.

“Noop, I’m not done wrapping!” Matt said, when they left Bailey’s room as he was falling asleep. “So don’t come in the bedroom.” He escaped to their room and closed the door.

Anoop was done with his gifts. Matt’s were hidden in his car. He put them under the tree and then curled up on the couch with some whiskey in his eggnog. He also opened a meat/cheese/cracker gift set an employee had gotten him. The lights on the Christmas tree sparkled and Anoop watched them for a while. He couldn’t believe his birthday was barely five days ago. He was 31 years old and his life was as far from what he imagined when he left American Idol as it could be. He was married to Matt Giraud of all people, had a four year old kid, owned his own indie label in Nashville of all places that had some of the best talent in the world but Anoop still couldn’t figure out how to get regular radio play while his last CD was three years ago with the latest one shelved indefinitely. Meanwhile, Matt was the one with a major label deal and a record that went triple platinum in three months who started crying about the fact the label wanted to send him on a world tour. It definitely wasn’t anything that he could have predicted but the whole thing just made him smile. Even if radio play was still a problem he was still helping people create and share and sell the kind of music they wanted to make. He owned something real that was helping the change the musical landscape and made it possible for Matt to take the next step in his career. When Anoop thought about that he got excited. He wanted to do that for his other artists, only he’d like to keep them on the label or at least keep the rights to their music.

He wanted to do that for himself.

There was still so much to look forward to in his musical career. He wasn’t done being an artist yet even though right now he had to focus on the business. He needed to take control of his own career and the label was the best way to do it.

Adopting Bailey was the start to a totally different life. He was scared that having Bailey might drag them down but it only inspired him to work harder and do more and really show Bailey what someone could do with a lot of hard work and determination. He wanted Matt to do the same thing by going on tour and continuing to succeed with his own career. Christmas had never meant so much before. _Life_ hadn’t meant as much before Bailey. It definitely wasn’t what he thought he’d have at 31. But he wouldn’t change anything and he thanked God for that as he finished his spiked egg nog on the couch.

“Santa’s here!” Matt said, stomping down the stairs with a bunch of presents in his hands. “I wrote from Santa on them. It was fun. I’m Santa. Can you believe it? I hope he believes in Santa until he’s 14. I love being Santa.”

“14?” Anoop said. “Isn’t that a little excessive?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Matt asked. He put the gifts down and ran back up the stairs. It took five more trips before Anoop got up to help and then a few minutes later they finally got all the gifts under the tree. They took over the whole family room.

“Way too many gifts,” Anoop said.

“Oh well!” Matt said. “Santa unloaded a whole bag at our place.”

“We completely gave into the commercialism that corrupts Christmas,” Anoop said. “I blame you.”

“Well, I’ll take the blame,” Matt said, pressing his hands to his chest. “Because it’s Christmas and I love you.”

Anoop rolled his eyes but he was smiling anyway. “Since it’s Christmas and you love me so much,” Anoop said. “Make me another drink.”

“Are you drinking whiskey? I don’t like that. Can I make it with rum?”

Anoop waved a hand and waited for Matt to come back with more eggnog. He also brought the cookies and they watched a Charlie Brown Christmas and then Frosty and then a Flinestone’s Christmas Carol on the Cartoon Network. It was cozy leaning against Matt and drinking the spiked eggnog with the fireplace going. Matt turned to him with a sleepy smile.

“So,” he said. “You really want me to take Bailey?”

Anoop nodded, not really buzzing from the alcohol, but he felt pretty warm and content.

“Are you sure? I’m not crying now.”

“I think it’s for the best, crybaby,” Anoop said, with an affectionate smile. “He’ll be happy with you. He’ll be safe. And in a way it’ll be more stable being with you then being at home. We’ll hire a nanny or something to stay with Bailey while you’re on stage or doing press or something.”

Matt smiled at him. Anoop always thought he could get lost in that smile.

“Thank you, Noop,” Matt said. “But I feel like you’re always making the sacrifice to make me happy.”

Anoop shook his head. “This is best for the family, Matt. It’s not a sacrifice.”

Matt kissed him softly and Anoop returned the kiss before resting his head on Matt’s chest. The fire crackled and popped, a warm, woody smell filling the room. They didn’t need to talk. It felt good just being together. Anoop was about to doze off when Matt shook him.

“Hey,” Matt said. “It’s midnight. It’s Christmas.” He got off the couch and singing. “So I’m offering you this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two. Although it’s been said many times, many ways, merry Christmas to you.” Matt ended the note on some dramatic riffs and runs as he walked to the stockings hung above the fireplace. He pulled a brown envelope out of Anoop’s stocking and danced it over to him.

“What’s this?” Anoop asked.

“It’s Christmas, you can open your presents now,” Matt said. He sat on the couch again and watched him.

Anoop opened the envelope carefully. He pulled out a small package. “What is this?” Anoop said, turning it over. “Edible underwear?” He gave Matt a look as he dissolved into giggles.

“I can’t wait to eat it off of you!” Matt said.

“Thanks...” Anoop said. “I hope you like cherry.”

“My favorite,” Matt said. He kissed Anoop’s neck and then bit him there, playfully. Anoop pushed him away.

“There’s more,” Matt said. “Look.”

Anoop pulled another envelope out. There were a couple of airline tickets. Anoop looked them over then raised his eyebrows at Matt.

“I figured I wanted to go to the real Monaco for once in my life,” Matt said, smiling. “We didn’t really get to have a honeymoon. So let’s go to a resort in Monaco for a week. Why not? After all, I am certified triple platinum.”

“Wow, Matt,” Anoop said.

“So take off work for that week, okay, Noop? And I asked my mom and she’s willing to take Bailey. She’d love to. She was complaining that she hasn’t gotten to spend any time with him. So she’ll come here and take Bailey back to Michigan with her. He’ll spend a week being spoiled by grandma. We might not get him back! Then we’ll come back in to Michigan and get Bee and come back home as a family.”

“You really thought this out,” Anoop said.

“We need a vacation. Don’t you think, Noop? Is it okay?”

“I’m excited,” Anoop said. He pulled Matt over and kissed him hard, each kiss becoming deeper and deeper. Anoop hoped that there really wasn’t a Santa because if he came down the chimney in the next couple of hours he would find them in the middle of a few very naughty things.

* 

Anoop was glad they didn’t get woken up extra early. In fact, Bailey just woke up at the regular time but he seemed amazed when he saw all the presents.

“Look!” Bailey said, pointing from the stairs. “All those presents. It’s Santa!”

“Yep,” Matt said. Anoop’s heart was racing but in a good way. He figured this was what it was all about.

“Santa came!” Bailey said.

“He’s did come,” Anoop said. “Wow, you must have been so good. You have so many presents. How many presents do you think, Bailey? Can you count them?”

“Yeah!” Bailey jumped down the rest of the steps and ran over to the shiny pile. “One... two...” Bailey stopped counting when he spotted that huge stuffed tiger. He laughed and launched himself on it, delighted.

“This is for me?” Bailey asked.

“It has your name on it!” Matt said.

“Wow,” Bailey said. He hugged the bow around the tiger’s neck. Anoop didn’t even know how Matt dragged the thing down there now that he thought about it but Matt did a good job.

“You wanna open them?” Matt asked.

Bailey buried his face against the tiger and seemed overwhelmed. Anoop decided that he had time to make some coffee before the big reveal. He came back to the family room with two mugs. Matt was sitting next to Bailey on the floor, lounging against the huge tiger.

“It’s really comfortable,” he said, taking his coffee.

“What do you wanna open first, Bailey?” Anoop asked. Bailey shrugged.

“Wait, I have to get my camera!” Matt ran away to get his camera, where ever it may be. Anoop hoped he found it sometime in this century. He put his coffee on the coffee table and picked up a medium size gift for Bailey.

“How about this one, buddy?” Anoop said. “Open this.”

“This one?” Bailey repeated, taking the box.

“Not yet, not yet, not yet!” Matt yelled, tearing back into the room. He started taking pictures of the whole spread. Then he took a paparazzi picture of Anoop kneeling in front of Bailey.

“Why is the flash on?” Anoop said, blinking.

“Oh, I don’t...” Matt turned the camera around and tapped on the screen. “There’s plenty of light in here. Morning light, that’s why Anoop liked this place.”

“I can’t open it?” Bailey asked, looking confused.

“Okay, okay,” Matt said, aiming the camera again. “You open that present, Bee. I’m going to catch you on camera. Opening your very first Christmas present with us! And then I’m gonna send it to grandma and grandpa and Anoop’s parents and everyone else in the world that I know and I’m gonna be that guy that they hate ‘cause I’m always showing them videos and pictures of my kid that only I can possibly find interesting.”

“I find them interesting too,” Anoop said.

“You don’t count,” Matt said. “Open it, Bailey!”

“Okay,” Bailey said. He grabbed the edges of the wrapping paper and ripped it back with his small hands. Matt grinned as he manned the video camera. Anoop didn’t even remember what the present was. It was a hot wheels set.

“Wow, cars,” Bailey said. He was just starting to get into them.

“Cars!” Matt said. “Lots of cars.”

“Very cool,” Bailey said. Anoop decided to get comfortable against the tiger as Bailey moved on to his other gift. It really was cozy.

“A puzzle!” Bailey said, holding up his next gift. “It’s polar bears.”

“That looks really fun, Bailey,” Anoop said. “We can put it together later.”

Once Bailey figured it out they didn’t have to direct him anymore. He ripped through present after present looking thrilled with each one. It was a surprise for Anoop too because he hadn’t kept track of Matt’s spending so Bailey got a lot of gifts that Anoop hadn’t even seen before, including this portable electronic tablet made for preschoolers.

“It’s just like Daddy’s,” Matt said. “You can keep track of all your important appointments on there.”

“Can I play games?” Bailey asked.

“Of course you can play games,” Matt said, laughing.

There was a handheld video game system, plenty of stuffed animals and plastic ones to play with, games and books and the zoo train set and blocks and more hot wheels tracks and stuff for the pool and even a child’s digital camera alone with a printer to hook it up to along with a few clothes, especially the new Christmas pajamas from Anoop’s parents and a hat from Matt’s dad. Anoop felt tired from just watching Bailey open all that stuff and he was drinking coffee. Matt videotaped the whole thing.

“Am I done yet?” Bailey asked, sitting in a pile of wrapping paper and bows. They both laughed.

“Okay, too many presents!” Matt said. “You’re right, Anoop. But I couldn’t help myself.”

“Hey, Bailey, give Daddy his present,” Anoop said. He handed Bailey the gift to give to Matt.

“Wow, you didn’t have to do this, Bee!” Matt hugged him. Bailey sat on his lap while Matt opened it.

“Drumsticks!” Matt laughed. “I lost the other ones didn’t I, Bailey?” He laughed, giving Bailey a kiss.

“Yeah, what happened with that?” Anoop asked. “I heard something about a window?”

Matt just laughed some more. Anoop figured he would ask him in Monaco when he was drunk.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy,” Bailey said.

“Merry Christmas,” Matt said. "Don't forget to give Daddy that present. Remember?"

This time Bailey handed Anoop a flat wrapped box. It was a picture that Bailey had colored, a colorful jungle scene with a parrot and monkey, framed nicely in a dark walnut frame. Matt had written Bailey's initials in the corner.

"A Bailey Giraud original," Matt said. "Keep it forever. That's gonna be worth money one day. Trust."

"It's for your desk, Daddy," Bailey said. Anoop kissed Bailey and patted his side.

"Thank you, baby," Anoop said. "I'll treasure this forever."

"Hey," Matt said. He pointed across the room. “Noop, there’s your present from Santa. Guess what it is.”

Anoop glanced over at the awkwardly wrapped tall object propped up in the corner of the room.

“Hmmm... what could this possibly be?” Anoop walked over and pulled the wrapping paper off. “Golf clubs. Thanks, Santa.”

“He got it monogrammed,” Matt said. “So you don’t lose it. So if Santa really does listen... I wonder if my convertible is outside! Do you see it, Bee?”

“Haha,” Anoop said. He handed Matt a small jewelry box.

Matt’s eyes widened when he shook the box. “Oh my God,” he said. “You didn’t.”

“I guess Santa really does listen,” Anoop said.

Matt opened the boxed and gasped.

“What is it?” Bailey asked, wrapping his arms around Matt’s neck.

“Keys!” Matt said.

“It’s still at the dealer,” Anoop said. “We’ll have to trade one of the cars in and... you better drive it around a lot before you go on tour.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew you knew which one I wanted!”

“It’s your money anyway,” Anoop said, but he was grinning.

Matt put Bailey down and then ran over to Anoop and tackled him in a hug. He fell back against the tiger and laughed with Matt on top of him. Then Bailey climbed on top of Matt.

“I got you!” Bailey said.

Anoop laughed until until he had tears coming out of his eyes and he couldn’t breathe. It didn’t help that Matt was on top of him. Finally, Matt got up, still carrying Bailey on his back.

“So what do you think, Bee? Best Christmas ever?”

“Yes!” he said. “What do we do now?”

“We’ll make breakfast,” Matt said. “And we’ll play with your presents. We’ll go visit a few people and we should thank Jesus for being born today.”

“Thank you, Jesus!” Bailey yelled. Anoop felt like he would never stop laughing. Matt helped him up.

“Can we get my car today?” he asked.

“Pretty sure the dealership is closed,” Anoop said.

“So I’ll use my celebrity to call them up and make them open it,” Matt said. “We’ll invite the Nashville paparazzi, too. I’m so excited!”

“No,” Anoop said.

“Daddy loves cars,” Bailey said. They walked to the kitchen. Matt let Bailey sit on the counter while they prepared to make more pancakes.

“I love pancakes,” Bailey said, dreamily. “I love Christmas. I love Daddy and I love Daddy!”

“We love you, baby,” Anoop said. He let Matt mix the batter while he heated up the griddle. Matt stepped over to him and slipped his hand around his back.

“So what do you think, Santa?” Matt whispered in his ear. “We pulled off a good Christmas after all.”

“A great Christmas,” Anoop said. “Good job, Santa.”

Bailey watched carefully as Anoop poured the first couple of pancakes on the griddle.

“So if today is Christmas,” Bailey asked. “When is the _next_ Christmas?”

“We’re not done with this Christmas yet, Bee!” Matt said. “Let’s enjoy today.”

Anoop smiled, thinking about the answer to Bailey’s question. Next Christmas was about 365 days away and he was already looking forward to it.


End file.
